"This is not living."

When I was a young mom in my early thirties, I was living in New York City and working at the United Nations Headquarters. I was in the city that I had been dreaming of ever since I lived there during high school, and I was working in an organization that millions applied to every year. And yet, I clearly remember being in my neon lit office thinking “this is not living.” I was not happy. To top it all off, I had guilt about not being satisfied with where I was in my life, for wanting more. I had dragged my boyfriend from Geneva there and also moved away from my daughter from her father, which he was not okay with at all (understandably). And there I was, not feeling satisfied. Who was I to want more?

Every choice we make creates more impact than we imagine. And yet, there is no such thing as a mistake. Think of it as a GPS, always rerouting and adjusting, but with a destination that is unknown and ever changing. Our job is not to ignore that nudge when it shows up (and it always does), because it is pointing us to our authenticity, our power and our life purpose. Whether we choose to take one course of action over another (and no action is also a course of action), we must at least allow ourselves the space to reflect on this with full presence.

Having doubts about our lives is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes strength to course correct when we realize we have been living a life built on other people’s expectations and dreams, for example. It takes strength to acknowledge we have been giving away our power to another person unknowingly or acting in am underhanded, manipulative manner. 

There are no short-cuts, no quick fixes, and believe me I’ve shopped around. At the end of the day it’s our mind set every single morning, our decisions moment by moment. And yes, even healers, therapists, professors and experts are human. So while we try to figure stuff out, both together and alone, let’s just remember to enjoy life. It is a mistake to wait till the next vacation, retirement, quota reached, etc. Make it a point to actively and intentionally inject joy every single day, even when you are making those tough decisions and paying all those overdue bill or even feeling bored.