For the past few months I had been in discussion over a collaboration opportunity that stretched me beyond my comfort zone. It was challenging though I knew I could complete the work involved. This would have entailed me working with a new, totally skeptical audience, which I was okay with, since my medicine circle is open to all, as long as respect is present.
After hours of negotiating culminating in a manifesto/code of ethics I received on Sunday night, I decided not to go through with the project. Even if the contents were factual, mostly stating the obvious (ie. facts are facts, magic is not a fact), and I had no issue with them, it was the underlying tone and energy that just didn’t sit well. It was lacking that vital element of respect for difference. As much as my mind wanted to push through, my gut said NO and that was that.
Side note: the next morning, I had an outpouring of alternate, more aligned opportunities.
All this to say, that my medicine is not for everyone, and I am okay with that. In fact, that is how it should be.
Most of my practices are not science-based, and I am also okay with that. I acknowledge that many if not most are either not interested or more likely, triggered by these practices and would actively discredit them.
The fact is, I love the mysterious aspect of Life. I don’t want to have everything in neat little boxes anymore. I don’t need science to validate my every prayer, my every intention.
I love that I don’t understand everything, that I can trust my intuition when facts point in an opposing direction.
I love that I am able to sit in discomfort and not knowing.
I love that I have more questions than answers.
I love that I am allowing space for Spirit to step in a take a little more space every day.
I love the magical aspect of my life.
Yes, it still hurts when I am shamed and ridiculed, discriminated or shunned for my beliefs and practices. But it only hurts my ego, and it doesn’t last very long!
As soon as I remember who I am, where I’m from, why I’m here, everything else is just noise.
These times of remembering are in moments of solitude and contemplation, and they are in circles with community. They are also sharing play and joy with friends.
This morning as the full moon literally woke me up before dawn with its brilliant light, this beautiful prayer from Grandmother Sasa was brought to me by Richard Rudd, one of my mentors. May this all be our prayer:
“Grandfather Chief Above the Heavenly Stars
Hear my humble Prayer O Great One
You are the giver of life and everything that comes with it.
I am but a small blade of grass in the vastness of Mother Earth.
I ask for your guidance so I may see the beauty you put before us.
Grandfather, use us all today as an instrument,
A hollow reed to bring down the healing energy,
The prosperity and goodness on this Earth one more time.
I plant the seed of Life within the circle,
So it may grow, and we can become one with each other,
And speak as one again. Aho!”