On Feb 7, 2023, I visited my doctor for the first time since 2017. While having a massage a week or so earlier, I had felt pain in my breast and decided to get it checked. She immediately sent me to get a mammogram and an ultrasound, both of which I had not done since that same year. The radiologist, a friend of my doctor’s, called her right after my visit. She in turn called me, revealing that the results were “highly suggestive of malignancy.” My doctor urged me to get a biopsy ASAP. I could schedule with her secretary who she shared with her husband, a surgeon. Reluctantly, I booked an appointment and saw the surgeon. After checking me, he declared himself unable to perform the biopsy due to the spread out nature of our subject of inquiry. I needed to see yet another - fourth - specialist. All within a twenty-four hour span of time, I went to see his colleague back at the hospital, and a technician explained the procedure, quoting me a rather hefty sum of money.
By this point my head was reeling with all sorts of questions and scenarios, and my emotions were all over the place. I needed to regroup and center and find the right answers to help me process.
The next day I went to see my friend Dr Romy Paredes at the Wellnessland Health Institute in Cebu, Philippines, where I have been based since 2013. Dr Romy is a medical doctor with radical views about natural ways of healing - aligned to my own. I showed Dr Romy my results and he congratulated me on not getting a biopsy. I told him I was not planning to undergo traditional forms of treatment (surgery and chemo) and was determined to heal myself naturally, with his support. I knew I had found an ally. Doc Romy and I agreed on a protocol and I set to work on being the best student on how to heal this situation from the inside out. I was by far not his first patient!
There was another person I wanted to speak to, and this was Dr Eva Muller, a good friend from Cebu who now shuttles between her native Germany and Manila, attending to her patients internationally. Like Dr Romy, Eva is open to natural ways of healing and is well aware of my energy work background. Again I shared my story with her, and my conversation with Dr Romy. To my surprise, she asked me questions of a more existential nature, such as my relationship with Death, the community, my sense of purpose and mission and things of that nature. Thankfully, I am inherently very prone to self-reflection to begin with, but this added dimension to my life prompted even more deep dives into the meaning of life, and mine in particular. I was able to answer Eva’s questions with clarity and conviction. Finally, she invited me to consider opening this journey to my community, one thing I had not at all considered at that time.
So little by little, I started sharing a story I originally wanted to keep private, to friends and family. There was some concern of course, but mostly an outpouring of love, support, and mostly faith, that fills me with so much gratitude and joy. When I was scheduled to give a talk on meditation in my womens’ group six weeks after that day in February, I tweaked my topic to talk about healing yourself naturally. Privately, I received messages of hope and inspiration and gratitude. This is also why I am writing this piece today.
To all the people who receive a scary diagnosis that sounds like a death sentence, know that there is so much you can do and learn to listen to your body by first quieting the mind. In that sense, meditation can be a life saver. When I received that news on that day, I felt compassion for all the beings who are in a fragile mental state, unable to cope with the added anxiety or stress such a diagnosis could impart. Our bodies hold so much wisdom. Most of the time illness is there to ask us to slow down enough to listen and connect to that wisdom.
Please message me if you would like a list of the natural protocols that I have been doing now for over six weeks and that seem to be working. I am feeling joyful and light, and my lumps seem to have reduced in size. I have so much gratitude to Doc Romy and Dr Eva for their love and support and the work they do tirelessly day after day. May you always be blessed!
Updated: Feb 7, 2023
For the past few months I had been in discussion over a collaboration opportunity that stretched me beyond my comfort zone. It was challenging though I knew I could complete the work involved. This would have entailed me working with a new, totally skeptical audience, which I was okay with, since my medicine circle is open to all, as long as respect is present.
After hours of negotiating culminating in a manifesto/code of ethics I received on Sunday night, I decided not to go through with the project. Even if the contents were factual, mostly stating the obvious (ie. facts are facts, magic is not a fact), and I had no issue with them, it was the underlying tone and energy that just didn’t sit well. It was lacking that vital element of respect for difference. As much as my mind wanted to push through, my gut said NO and that was that.
Side note: the next morning, I had an outpouring of alternate, more aligned opportunities.
All this to say, that my medicine is not for everyone, and I am okay with that. In fact, that is how it should be.
Most of my practices are not science-based, and I am also okay with that. I acknowledge that many if not most are either not interested or more likely, triggered by these practices and would actively discredit them.
The fact is, I love the mysterious aspect of Life. I don’t want to have everything in neat little boxes anymore. I don’t need science to validate my every prayer, my every intention.
I love that I don’t understand everything, that I can trust my intuition when facts point in an opposing direction.
I love that I am able to sit in discomfort and not knowing.
I love that I have more questions than answers.
I love that I am allowing space for Spirit to step in a take a little more space every day.
I love the magical aspect of my life.
Yes, it still hurts when I am shamed and ridiculed, discriminated or shunned for my beliefs and practices. But it only hurts my ego, and it doesn’t last very long!
As soon as I remember who I am, where I’m from, why I’m here, everything else is just noise.
These times of remembering are in moments of solitude and contemplation, and they are in circles with community. They are also sharing play and joy with friends.
This morning as the full moon literally woke me up before dawn with its brilliant light, this beautiful prayer from Grandmother Sasa was brought to me by Richard Rudd, one of my mentors. May this all be our prayer:
“Grandfather Chief Above the Heavenly Stars
Hear my humble Prayer O Great One
You are the giver of life and everything that comes with it.
I am but a small blade of grass in the vastness of Mother Earth.
I ask for your guidance so I may see the beauty you put before us.
Grandfather, use us all today as an instrument,
A hollow reed to bring down the healing energy,
The prosperity and goodness on this Earth one more time.
I plant the seed of Life within the circle,
So it may grow, and we can become one with each other,
And speak as one again. Aho!”
I was recently chatting with a friend of mine who is active in the digital nomad community, and he asked me if I would be writing about my experience. Aside from two blog posts from Martha’s Vineyard and Tulum, I mostly stuck to social media posts and stories. With the end of my journey rearing its head, I thought a final wrap-up post was in order.
To give a little background on this trip and my story, I am an energy healer, teacher and retreat facilitator based in the Philippines since 2013. Back in 2020, I had a one-way ticket to Europe where I had planned on returning to since my move seven years prior to that. But we all know what happened in the spring of 2020, don’t we?
It wasn’t until two years afterwards that an opportunity arose, and within one month I was on a plane to the United States to celebrate my mother’s seventieth birthday and also experience life on a farm in April 2022. What I thought was going to last the entire summer only lasted two months, after which I went on to Mexico for the first time in my life.
My trip to Mexico was years in the making. The real impetus at that moment was the opportunity to train with Zen Takai, my bushido sensei. I had met Zen sensei online in September 2021, and had been training over zoom with him ever since that time. Though my time in Mexico was short, it was intense and exhilarating. My dear friend Gen flew down from Canada to meet me and helped me discover the mesmerizing temples of Chichen Itza and the lovely town of Valladolid in Yucatan. Without her, I would have just stayed in Tulum and trained with sensei.
By that time it was nearly August and another friend in Geneva offered me to stay at her place while she was on vacation (most of Europe is away on vacation throughout the month of August). Since my plans to stay in Martha’s Vineyard didn’t push through, I decided to accept her offer and got a ticket from Cancun (nearest airport to Tulum) and head to Switzerland, where I had lived for eight years.
After a relaxing month in Switzerland, enjoying the heat and the beautiful hikes that part of the world offers, I went to visit another friend in Vietnam (on my way home to the Philippines), who had just opened an ashram, or a place of meditation and healing, in the countryside. It was my second time in Vietnam, and as I am writing this, I am sitting at my friend’s vegan restaurant in Ho Chi Minh City, Heal & Celeb.
In terms of a digital nomad lifestyle, Mexico and Vietnam definitely stand out (the US and Switzerland are not cost-efficient, obviously), with Mexico being more expensive than I had anticipated. Still, it’s a very popular destination for digital nomads around the world, for the sunny weather, cost of living and chill lifestyle. It’s definitely on my list (okay I am biased because my martial arts teacher lives there too). I also love Vietnam, and the first time I visited in 2019, I wanted to move there.
My best advice is really to focus on networking and building relationships. Everything is about relationships. Take time to reach out and nurture your relationships, new and old. That is what allowed me to travel around the world for four months on a relatively small budget. Honestly I never even thought this trip would happen, but with a lot of trust, surrender and friendship, I had one of the best trips of my life.
Please feel free to reach out for any inquiries at @reikicebu@gmail.com
